So, are you single or taken? effing single.
How old are you anyway? Fourteen.
That’s cool. Gender? Female.
Sexuality? Of the heterosexual persuasion.
Alright hot shit. On to the questions.
What do you look for in a guy/girl? many things, mostly inteligence and humor.
Do appearances matter? heck yes.
Do ONLY appearances matter? Naw.
DO THEY HAVE TO BE…
Buff? no way
Rich? in my dreams
Funny? yes definitely.
A risk-taker? ohh for sure.
Would you rather date someone ugly with a great personality, or someone whos gorgeous but a dick? ugly boy because he is probably awesome and coule always get plastic surgery
Speaking of dicks, does size REALLY matter? who the hell wants a huge dick in themselves. fucking scary.
Are you being honest? honestly, that is what i think.
Do they have to be sensitive? see above.
Out of these labels, pick whichever one closest identifies your perfect mate: the Jock, the goth, the emo kid, the jerk, the brain, the geek, the gangster, the wangster, the highschool dreamboat, or the kind of guy that cant be put into a group? the latter. and wtf is a wangster? or i like the brain, the geek, or emo kid.
Do they have to be… “skilled”? bowstaff skillz.
Hair color? Brown swoosh
Eye color? deeep brown
Body type? thin/slim
Personality type? badass/awesome
Height? Taller than me in heels
Weight? Thin duh
Sign? who cares
Facial/body hair? PASS MAJORLY
WOULD YOUR IDEAL MATE HAVE...
long or short hair: long... and my long you know what i mean
A six pack: meh sure
glasses: yes, but only sometimes.
scars: from a badass fight involving a knife, ha
big butt or little: ass
chest hair: gross
straight teeth or gap: Straight puhlease.
party or stay at home: depends
cook or bake: bake mostly but yeah cook
have a best friend: i would hope so
have a lotta girl friends: um no because they can't take their eyes off of me long enough to look at another girl
be outgoing or shy: shy at first and outgoing around friends/me
be sarcastic or sincere: both of course
love their mother: well yes, but not be too attached
watch chick flicks: what's so great about chick flicks
be a smoker: not of cigarettes
drink: kahlua is everyone's favorite, it should be his too
play with your hair: Yes and my back...
pay for dates: WHY YES
kiss on the first date: i hope so.
bring you flowers: pretty please
lay under the stars with you: often
write poetry about you: YES!!!! ha.
call you hunny, sweetie, or baby: snookums
hang out with you and YOUR friends: yes and i would do the same for them
walk you to the door at the end: yes thank you
clean their room: when i come over
paint, draw, or sculpt: yes, yes and yes
write their own music: about me
use the word dude: uhh no thanks? unless it is ala seth
use the word tight: OMFG WINSTON DID IN OUR GIP. "then they played a tight beat" and i was like "that is clever..."
watch the sun rise with you: definitely
Love at first sight or friends first? Friends meh.
Any qualities they MUST have? adoring me
Explain your ideal first date: show at the 40 watt
What would they do on a special occasion (like an anniversary) that would blow you away? make me a pop up book
How would they propose? randomly and/or drunkenly
Would they whisk you away on a shiny white horse or in a shiny white convertible? hmmm both at different times!!
Where would you live happily ever after? california or italy or amsterdam or paris
WOULD YOU STAY WITH YOUR TRUE LOVE EVEN IF…
They cheated on you? depends what the circumstances are. mostly no.
They asked if you would partake in a threesome? uhmmmm ... no?
They turned out to be gay/straight (depending on what you are)? we would have already broken up if this was an issue and he "turned out" to be.
They lost all their money and everything they owned, and you would have to live on the streets? they'd stay with me.
They refused to eat anything but anchovy flavored beef jerky…and refused to brush their teeth? no way. i hate beef jerkey and i love brushing teeth
You were attracted to another person? what kind of attraction is it?
You were in love with another person? well, no... how can i be in love with another person if i am with my true love? W T F
They were called away on some top secret mission and wouldn’t return for months or years? depends on how long we've been together
You felt that deep down they didn’t love you anymore, but they would never admit it? No...
They got a sex change? hah not really...
They became addicted to herion? they wouldn't because they would be busy being addicted to me.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST…
Have you already found your true love? maybe. but i am 14, remember.
If not, do you think you EVER will? yes